I Hate Watermelon

The following is an excerpt from Episode 43 – Cars 101. Listen to the whole episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Do you have a flavor of something that’s just not for you? I have officially determined that the flavor watermelon is just not for me.

Well, for one, watermelon, the fruit, I don’t like because of the consistency and the texture. It’s like you’re eating water. 

So maybe I’ve just never truly gotten the true taste of watermelon. Like, I don’t know what watermelon really tastes like.

I know that I have yet to taste a good one. A non-watery one. There’s like eight different types of watermelon out there, depending on various factors that make them different tastes and textures. Who knew there was such diversity available in watermelon?!

I promise a proper watermelon of my preferred taste will be sought out eventually. But as of right now, I think I’ve been turned off to the whole idea of biting into something and it’s just water or there’s holes in it. It’s what I imagine biting into Swiss cheese is like. There is that’s that flavor, but it’s barely even there.

I mean does anyone know what the true taste of watermelon really is? I don’t know. A part of me thinks that everybody just hypes this shit up. And then you make it an artificial flavor, which is never quite right.

I’m sorry if you are there at home, if you’re in rage, and you’re a big watermelon supporter. I understand. Just know that everything I’ve tried has not worked.

So I really just. And I’ve tried a lot. Like, this isn’t just like a small sample size. I’m a scientist. I understand with small sample sizes are I’ve tried a lot of things, watermelon things. And I just know it’s just not for me.

If you told me, “Chloe, you’re going to die if you do not eat this watermelon. You are going to die if you do not eat this watermelon.” I would think I would have to say no. I wouldn’t want that to be the last thing I like. The last dying action would be eat something that I just hate.

And that’s the dramatic in me.

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